Saturday 26 February 2011

DVD: PIRANHA 3D (2010)


Why is this movie not up for an Oscar this year?

Well, the obvious answer is because it's a popcorn movie. It's a piece of popularist exploitation trash.

But it's a brilliant piece of popularist exploitation trash. I loved it. And why did I love it? Because everything works. From the opening with Richard Dreyfuss and Jaws references right through to the abrupt surprise ending. The main cast is terrific and believable: Elizabeth Shue as the Sheriff and mother to Steven R. McQueen as the young lead, Jerry O'Connell as the manic sleazy porn merchant and Kelly Brook (unbelievably beautiful) as the particularly likeable one of his two porn stars. The feamle lead I can take or leave but she was okay. 

The underwater nude lesbian scene with Kelly Brook and the other actress (who came from adult movies)  is surprisingly tasteful and really rather beautiful and balletic to watch in an aesthetic sense and, no, I'm actually not being sarcastic.

The gore is plentiful and realistic and sometimes (as in the severed penis) very funny. The prehistoric piranha look believable, though I'm not convinced they could survive as a species in an underground lake by surviving on a cannibalistic diet.

Having said that, after watching the 3D version for 10 minutes I took off the glasses and replaced the disc with the 2D version. The 3D had muted colours and it was quite difficult to find the right angle and position of the glasses on my face to get the right image, I may, however, give it a second go when I rewatch it, which I'm certainly going to do.

Yes, of course it's rubbish, but it is extremely well-made highly enjoyable rubbish. Switch off your brain and just have fun.


I don't normally do cheesecake shots but this is how Kelly Brook's dressed throughout most of the movie and she plays a more important part than I expected.

Oh all right, here's the piranha.

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